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How to not freeze up around girls | Psychological triggers| Overcome Approach anxiety

 How to not freeze up around girls | Psychological triggers | Overcome Approach anxiety

Bill and Bob are meeting a couple of girls at the mall. They've both been waiting for this for a long time because they finally have the chance to meet these girls that they've been talking to. It's kind of like a double date it's a few hours before closing at the mall when they finally meet.

Bill introduces himself but Bob seems to be at a loss for words. Both of the girls are so much hotter than Bob expected and he's quite literally at a loss for words. But what has actually happened to him?

The problem is that Bob is frozen and he usually does this when around hot girls. It's almost like attractive girls cast some sort of spell on him when they meet and he's completely at a loss for words. The thing is this isn't how Bob usually acts.

When around friends and people he's comfortable with bob is usually very confident and in many cases, you might consider him the life of the party. But as soon as he's around a hot girl he instantly freezes up like Raj from The Big Bang Theory. His body language changes, his voice tonality begins to screech and he can't seem to string a single sentence together. His movements become jerky and it's almost as if he's scared for his life.

Now we know that girls aren't dangerous animals so what could possibly be making Bob act like this around them why is it that he's so confident around literally everyone except for hot girls? Bob tries so hard to think of something to say instead of freezing up but he just can't seem to do it.

So many guys have this problem and it really sucks. This could be the perfect opportunity for Bob but nobody ever taught him how to handle this situation. To avoid freezing up around girls, you must know how to eliminate the fear response within your body. The truth is that guys do best with girls when they're in a state of flow.

Which means that they're confident and the words just seem to flow through them. Imagine trying to crack a funny joke or be confident while you're being chased by a huge lion. There's a good chance that you won't be able to and inside your mind, it's the same situation.

This is crazy but your brain can literally produce the same fear response from a hot girl that you'd experience while being chased by a lion. Due to how your brain works it is literally impossible for you to be scared and confident at the same time because fear and confidence are polar opposites.

To be able to stop freezing up and keep a conversation going with girls, you need to understand the fear response and how to eliminate it. Fortunately, this response is easy to understand. You see when your brain perceives danger or a threat it produces biochemical changes within your body.

Something that is truly fascinating is that. Unlike animals, humans have the ability to go backward or forward in time using nothing but their mind. This is something that animals simply cannot do. In other words, humans have a much more complex memory system than animals and much of the anxiety that you'll experience actually occurs before meeting a girl.

As guys, we have the ability to move forward and backward in time with our brain and this creates two little problems that cause Bob to get scared before meeting a girl.

These two problems are thinking about what's going to happen next and what has happened in the past during similar situations? One of the huge mistakes that Bob makes is thinking about what's going to happen after everything he says?

The second problem is that he's just simply not prepared for the situation. Bob isn't prepared because he doesn't have very good social skills, to begin with, and he hasn't practiced telling stories and knows nothing about keeping a conversation going. The good news is that preparation is easy all that you have to do is get out of your comfort zone and learn how to keep a conversation going.

The thing with girls that most guys don't understand is that you should always keep it positive when talking to them. Nothing will ruin a date and give someone a horrible impression of you faster than starting things off by talking about negative stuff like politics.

As a guy, you might want to talk about politics but most girls don't want to talk to you about that so leave the nerd stuff at home. One of the easiest ways to prevent yourself from freezing up when talking to a girl is to meet as many girls as you can. This is basically exposure-101 and if you're scared of meeting hot girls or girls, in general, it's one of the easiest ways to get over this fear.

You see you have to understand that the main cause of freezing up when meeting girls is fear. When determining if the girl is a threat your brain will look at your past experiences with girls and several other factors and it will instantly decide if you're equipped to handle the situation.

Now if you don't have a lot of experience meeting girls then your brain basically says oh damn I can't do this! And it perceives the situation as a threat. Which causes you to freeze up and look like a weirdo. Exposing yourself to situations with girls it's the best way to eliminate this problem at its core, but there are some other useful tips that can help you to stay calm in the moment.

First, make sure that you're breathing correctly. Taking large full breaths through the front of your body. Another great tip is to meet girls on your turf so to speak. Which is somewhere where you're naturally comfortable. Some guys feel most comfortable in a nerdy environment like comic-con. If this is you try to meet a girl there instead of in a bar or somewhere where your game will be weak.

When you first meet the girls it is important to know that you don't always have to say something. A lot of guys think that they need to respond to everything the girls are saying instantly but it's perfectly okay to pause and not reply right away.

The funny thing is that if you don't have good conversational skills, to begin with most girls would rather find another guy who already has these basic skills then try to walk you through starting and holding a conversation.

A lot of guys are fairly confident around girls and they only get tongue-tied when around a really attractive girl. If this describes you don't worry because you're just like most other men. Most girls get totally turned off by a guy who's too in his head during a conversation because it shows that you lack confidence.

The final tip to remember to help you stop freezing up around girls is to realize that, even though they don't show it most girls are just as nervous as you. The girls are really good at hiding their nervousness which makes them appear much more confident than they really are. You should also understand the basics of energy transfer between interactions with girls.

The less confident and more nervous that you are the more that energy will transfer to the girl and turn into confidence. So she'll seem even more confident making you feel even more nervous. This basically creates a negative feedback loop for you. So make sure to stop it before it gets out of control.

Talking to girls without freezing up is actually really simple. Start by exposing yourself to more situations that involve talking to girls. Even if it's just friends and family and make sure to take deep breaths and keep yourself calm.

Realize that the girl your talking to is probably just as nervous as you are but for her own reasons and avoid staying in your head and overthinking things. 

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